Here's 40 ways to know you're a country South Australian:
1. Invites still say ''ladies bring a plate'' and no-one takes offence
2. A handshake can cause a blood clot
3. Your lovely next-door neighbour still makes chutney in old jars
4. You actually know the name of that lovely next door neighbour
5. When you're passing traffic, you raise a finger (and it's not the middle one)
6. ABC radio is always on in the background
7. Everyone knows your mum's slices (eg 'Westy's Slice' in Pinnaroo)
8. You know to accelerate out of bends on dirt roads
9. The hamburgers at the school fete are homemade
10.The bottle of Spring Gully Worcestershire sauce never gets put away
11. A beer and a sunset are the same beautiful colour
12. People actually turn up at working bees
13.Your kids play out in the streets - alone!
14. You are only ever called by your nickname (like Tapey and Paddo, who provided little gems for this column)
15. Driving to Adelaide is always ''Driving to town''
16.You reckon most politicians are wankers who clearly think SA ends at Gepps Cross
17. West End beer tastes bloody great
18. Mobile phone coverage isn't guaranteed
19. Today would be great but tomorrow's more than fine
20. Your heart skips a beat when you hear the fire siren
21. You're an expert on weird stuff like the total yield of Russia's wheat crop or the market price of lambs in Hamilton, Victoria
22. You claim your esky as a tax deduction
23. You can taste the rain coming
24. Utes with dogs are compulsory
25. Joining the CWA, Rotary or Lions isn't post-modern irony
26. Teenagers are told to pull up their trousers
27. The older your car gets, the more you love it
28. You don't check your emails every five minutes: "Call me if you need me, son!"
29. Kids go barefoot in summer
30. Jatz, smoked oysters and chunks of cheddar are still considered fancy
31. Adelaide looks best in your rear-view mirror
32. Saying g'day to a stranger is just good manners
33. You go to the pub to see your mates, not to play the pokies
34. You know everyone else's business, and often you have a strong opinion on it, too
35. You know the people who own the pub, and the post office and the butcher's
36. You don't need to ask where to fish or surf
37. You don't pay $8 for a pint
38. You think nothing of driving hundreds of kilometres for a game of footy
39. Hearing Khe Sanh makes you sentimental
40. You've lived in the same town for 20 years (and not a day less)
In 1986 I finished school on Yorke Peninsula and headed out to see the world.
I wish I had a dollar for every time someone's told me since that "you can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl".
I wear that like a badge of honour.
SUNDAY MAIL (SA)
AUGUST 24, 2013